Day One was really February 16th,2009 the day those 3 words were spoken to me from a single dark and handsome doctor. "You have Multiple Sclerosis" ( I know it's 4 words but stay with me)
I remember laughing in his face and telling him that I had carpal tunnel and he must've read it wrong. We broke up from that moment on..
I went on an made an appt with Dr KG who diagnosed me on March 3rd, 2009. Fast forward to today --> My life changed over the course of 2 weeks and no one has noticed. Work didn't stop and make sure I was ok, life kept going. I'm not going to say:
1.) It's not fair
2.) Why me?
3.) God what does this mean
4.) Who's gonna marry me now?
I'm not going to say any of those things, Im just not...Right??? Maybe I'll just think them with tear stained pillows. I'll only give myself 1 day to stay in that place and then I'm moving on whether my flesh likes it or not.
So today I sit before you in a new place. Ready to take on the world, not knowing the future, but resting the hope of the God who made me. I smile because my future is secure in HIM. Today is a new day, I reserve the right to change everything about me except my mindset.
Thanks for stopping by - Hope to see you again.
Single for now...
I have 2 quick things to say -- don't want you to block me from your blog for being so long winded.
ReplyDelete1. I was diagnosed on March 4, which makes me wonder if there is something about the first week of March... of course it was 3-4-05 for me, but our anniversaries are close.
2. I tried to do the one day then get back to life, but found that one day was not long enough for such a HUGE change in my life. I had to take my mourning days when they came and enjoy the good days in their turn. I still have to do that because I still struggle.
P.S. I think marriage is overrated. Damn, now you will block me from your blog! Sorry, I just had to throw it out there.
I hope that you have given yourself plenty of time to simply allow yourself to be. Even with a deep faith in God, the emotions will flit around unexpectedly. It's ok. For many, the entire first year is a rollercoaster. So go with the flow and allow yourself to ponder and feel.
ReplyDelete